


Remembrance

by 46captain46



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky remembers, Light Angst, M/M, and that's not always good, at least I think it's light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-29
Updated: 2016-06-29
Packaged: 2018-07-19 02:38:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7341253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/46captain46/pseuds/46captain46
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>CIVIL WAR SPOILERS AHEAD <br/>"Do you even remember them?" <br/>"I remember all of them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembrance

**Author's Note:**

> Heyy guys! I had this piece finished a while ago but didn’t actually get around to publishing it. It’s somewhat depressing and quite small but I hope you like it!  
> As always a huge thank you to my beta ForeverShippingJohnlock and my beautiful friend Melanie for always being there for me and supporting me!  
> Disclaimer: I think we’ve made it pretty clear by now that I don’t own them.  
> Now! Off with the story!

“Do you even remember them?” the young Stark whispers. Words laced with pain and grief suppressed for years.

He gets a glimpse of mussed brown hair and the way-too-cocky smiles he always hated. He sees Stark. The Stark he knew. The Stark that had a son and a wife. The Stark of another time. The Stark he had developed a friendship with.

He would have been proud. He would have been so proud of the man his son came to be.

His heart clenches with the memory of his death. He can still feel the skin of Howard’s face breaking under his fist until it loses all color and warmth. Along with the silent plead his eyes portrayed. He remembers the fading pulse of his wife as he wrapped his hand around her throat.

He can still hear her last breaths.

He can still feel every punch he landed, every trigger he pulled, every bone he crushed. He remembers all the times he saw the life abandon a body, or the light leaving his victim’s eyes. He aches with the remembrance of his non-existent resistance, feels nauseous because of his blind obedience.

_“I remember all of them.”_ And he does. Every single one of them. Most of the time he hates having his memory back. It means he has to carry with him every time a life was stolen. But he supposes it’s only fair for him to carry that burden. It’s his punishment and he can’t blame anyone but himself.

He can feel the hate consume him and it’s all directed towards himself. For a moment he contemplates allowing Stark to kill him. Maybe he can be forgiven then. Deep down he knows he never will.

But he doesn’t. Because among the horrible memories there are also others. There are also images of a simpler time with a skinny Steve and happy smiles. Of lazy afternoons and comforting touches. Of happiness he may never feel again. _Doesn’t deserve_ to feel again.

Because that skinny kid he loved with all his heart is trying his damnest to get him out of this alive. Because his eyes carry a helplessness and pain he never wants to see them show again.

So he fights Stark. He tries to escape.

If only to try and make his Stevie smile once again.

He understands now that all throughout his life that was his only motivation. And, really, the only one he needed.

They both fight Stark. He loses his arm. The pain isn’t enough to dull everything else.

As the young man lays on the ground Steve picks him up. Bucky doesn’t believe he deserves it but goes with him anyway. He always will.

The vibranium hits the unforgiving concrete and Steve doesn’t look back once. He keeps going, bare of title and heroism, and Bucky sees the old Steve in his actions. The kid from Brooklyn that needed nothing more than his unreachable strength and unbreakable will to defy the world. And Steve Rogers always kept going.

And Bucky Barnes always kept following.

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo that’s it guys!! I hope you liked it and as always comments and kudos are welcomed and I love them!!  
> Byeeee, 46captain46


End file.
